christmas time.

I've been reading Luke 2 over and over again this week. The chapter itself isn't that big. Its size certainly doesn't give credit to the impact its events have had on humanity and our eternity. With Christmas just being two days away and the possibility of being stuck in Des Moines instead of traveling home to see my family and friends, the story in Luke has given me a very content feeling about the whole situation. Mostly because Christmas isn't actually about what we make it. It's about the birth of our savior. And I think what blows my mind the most is that it's not just a story.....but reality. Jesus was born. He was born with a purpose. And he was born for all. It says:

"But the angel of the Lord said to them, "Do not be afraid, for I bring you the good news of great joy that will be for all people. Today in the town of David a savior as has been born to you; He is Christ the Lord." LUKE 2:10-11

Its actually pretty nuts if you really think about it. I could sit at my desk all day and think of all the people I know who I don't think deserve salvation because they are selfish, or always lying, or just not nice, or have hurt someone intentionally, or always have something unkind to say. I myself would certainly fall into each of those categories. I think we all would. But Christ was born for each one of us and suffered for our sins so we can spend an eternity in Heaven. And not because he had to. Because he loved us and chose to do so....in spite of the fact that we are all sometimes selfish, or liars, or unkind. It's pretty humbling when you realize how powerless and unworthy you are before the Lord. But in a good way.

I am thankful for the birth of Christ. I am thankful for His grace. And I am thankful for you!

Merry Christmas.

Thursday night our furnace broke. My bedroom was 51 degrees when I woke up and the seven blankets I had on my bed did seemed paper thin as I layed there shivering and thinking about how horrifying it was going to be to step onto the icy hardwood floors and shower in the frigid bathroom, and how many layers of clothing I was going to need to put on to keep from dying. As I battled my flesh to get up, complaining to myself about how much I hate winter, snow and everything that comes along with it....I remembered that I should be thankful that this was the first time in 25 years of living that I have been in a home without heat. I started thanking God that I have a home, I have clothes to put on, I have warm coffee to drink and food to eat, I have a job to go to and I have a car to get me there. I also thanked God that I have friends that would let me stay at their house until the furnace got fixed.

I am thankful that God uses small things like a broken furnace to build our faith, character and remind us what he has done for us.

Also, big thanks to Swilson, Haley and Lauren for letting me move in for the weekend! :)

R.I.P. Hotdog Phone.

hotdog phone at Jill's birthday.


Hotdog phone LOVED texting with its qwerty keyboard.



Hotdog phone at the park!




Hotdog phone was so cute.





Hotdog phone all dressed up.


LG EnV 1 [AKA: Hotdog Phone]


Hotdog phone, age 18 months, of Des Moines, Iowa passed away November 15th, 2009 at 5:35a. Beloved cell phone of Kelli Rolfes. Brother of Jill Trost's EnV 2. The Hotdog phone was preceeded in death by the Motorola Peanut phone, The Nokia Saved by the Bell phone, the LG Zoolander phone, and Mr. Razor. The Hotdog phone was fond of texting with its qwerty keyboard, identifying music with its superpower music ID application, taking photos with a flash, and wearing disguises. Hotdog phone was born on May 3rd, 2008 at a Verizon Wireless Service Center. It attended Crocker Elementary, where it loved to get out into the fresh air and help keep track of the time at recess. One summer the Hotdog phone inadvertently was left atop of its owner's Ford Explorer and traveled via rooftop down the interstate from WCCC to the DTC. The Hotdog phone also went fishing, where another slight mishap caused it to take a swim in the river for five minutes before its bubbles crying out for help were noticed. But still it lived on. Hotdog phone also loved to go for long prayer walks, bike rides and chat with friends and family across the country. A memorial service for the Hotdog phone will be held on November 19th, 2009. Visitation begins at 5:30p with the service being held at 6:30p. Arrangements made by Cremation Services of Iowa. 800-622-8325.

Crocs and Gators.

This morning I read a book called "CROCS AND GATORS" to a class of second graders. It's a short non-fiction piece with all sorts of facts, pictures and statistics about the differences between crocodiles and aligators.

As soon as I had finished, Carlos, a little man of the age of seven quickly raised his hand. "Do you have something to share with us about crocs or gators?" I asked. He smiled, cleared his throat and said "One time, while we were still living in Mexico.....my dad shot a crocodile that was by my house. Then he threw it up on the roof so we'd remember how he always protects us. And probably so no other crocs would mess with his kids. Oh, and I think he was probably as big as you....the croc, not my dad!"

Thanks for sharing, Carlos.

ballooney.

This week a teacher walked up to me and said "Dylan came up to me this morning and said:

"I've got something you probably shouldn't know about. Took it, and the parents don't even know about it!"

She proceeded to probe him for more information but he would only tell her the contraband was a "ballooney". She thought it was hilarious and asked me to find out more information.

I located my super-hero best friend at his locker where he was hanging up his glow-in-the-dark Transformers back pack and Superman lunch box [Complete with its own super-hero cape. I'm not joking.] I asked him point blank "What's a ballooney, Dylan?"

He got a crooked little smile on his face, looked left and then right, held his hand up beside his mouth and whispered "Took it, and the parents don't even know about it. Ha."

I played along like I knew what he was talking about and asked where he took it from.

"From church, Miss Kelli. Took it, and the parents don't even know about it. Ha."

"You took a ballooney from your church?!" I asked him, trying not to laugh.

"Not even my church, Miss Kelli. Someone else's church."

"You still didn't answer my question though.....what's a "ballooney?"

"You know," he said. "You blow air into it until it gets big and then you tie it shut!?"

"A ba-llooooon?" I asked.

"Right. A ballooney."

He then proceeded to close his locker and skip down the hallway, covering his hand over his back pocket so he didn't lose his "ballooney" along the way.

Parking.

Today after leaving morning prayer at the DTC, I headed over to Amici Espresso for an Eye Opener and some chat time with my roommate. I had been sitting there for about half an hour when a man walked up to me and said "Excuse me. This is going to seem really REALLY strange, but can I ask you something?"

"Sure." I said, sort of wincing while I thought of a number of things he might ask me.

"Is that your jeep parked out front?"

"It's an Explorer but yes, it is."

"Are you going to be here all morning? In that parking spot? I only ask because....now this is going to sound weird....I wait here every morning to get that parking spot. I work upstairs and we sort of all fight over that spot because it's just right outside the front door and normally, there is a guy that comes here every morning and leaves at exactly 7:12a and I try to take that spot but he's not here today so when you leave......could I have that spot?"

"Um, what?" I said.

He again explained to me in great detail how he works in the law firm upstairs and he and his co-workers stare out the window waiting for that spot to open up so they can park there. They fight over it and they've even been close to getting into car accidents over it. He continued to keep saying "This is so weird, I know."

I told him it wasn't, even though it was, and agreed to give him two minutes notice when I left so he could pull his car up from around the block and take over the spot. He was polite and asked me a few questions about myself, I assume to make the whole situation a little less awkward and strange. It didn't work, but I did laugh to myself as I pulled away and he waved his hand out of his car window at me. People are so interesting.

School days.

Well, people. It's happened. Summer officially came to an end for me this evening. [insert dramatic disheartening music here.]

I will say that thanks to Jill's Hannah Montana movie party, it closed with a bang!

While it's hard to say goodbye to the days of summer heat, my pool rat tan, and non-existent bedtime, there are a few things I do always look forward to at the start of a new school year. They are:

1. New crayons--I just really love the way the smell, the shine of the pointy wax tips and clever names like "dandelion" instead of yellow and "granny smith apple" for the green. Unfortunately, the kids in my classroom know how to proverbially punch me in the stomach by snapping the new crayons in half when they get mad.

2. Waxed floors--the hallways only look good twice a year. The first day of school and the first day back from Christmas break. I'd like to tip my hat to Doug and Ray, the two janitors who take the time to wax, polish and buff the hallways to a gleaming shine.

3. Temporary tattoos--with the state fair going on while the kids are already in school, it's funny to see them come each day with 14 temporary tattoos on each arm and leg.

4. The kids. I just really love all of them and missed them quite a bit this summer. It will be fun to hear what they've done, see how much they've grown and see them day in and day out for the next 180 consecutive week days.

Friend Deb.

Tonight I got to have dinner with my work BFF, Deb. She's great. I like her for a lot of reasons. Here are just a few:

1. I'm secretly obsessed with Deb. Tonight, I realized that she may be as or a little be more obsessed with me. She thinks I am the cat's pajamas.

2. Deb uses common phrases in the wrong context. I think it's so cute. Ex: "Kelli, were you ears burning last night? Because my son Alex went to the ER at 11:30p and was there until 4:00a!"

3. Deb never wears make-up. And she really doesn't need to.

4. Deb showed me the ropes at my job. She was always very helpful at telling me the secret information you don't really learn in training...like NEVER eat the school lunch because you'll get sick.

5. Deb has more patience than me, she never says anything negative, she readily admits when she's wrong and quickly apologizes, she runs from gossip, and she really loves the Lord.

6. Deb brings me bags of Dorritos because she thinks I need to eat more.

7. She's sneaky funny.

8. Deb is just like me in 20 years.....only shorter.

9. Deb texts.

10. Deb loves babies. Me too!


I wish everyone had a friend Deb at work. Life would be a lot more encouraging, a lot more fun, and I think we would all be pretty well fed.

Donna Martin graduates! Donna Martin graduates!

If you were a child of the 90's, you probably spent your tweenage years much like myself. Waking up late morning just in time to roll out of bed, hop down to the living room couch and settle yourself in with a big bowl of cereal and the remote control, just in time to hear that infamous theme song and see the faces of Beverly High's most notable students: Brandon and Brenda Walsh [fresh off the boat from the Midwest], Donna Martin [PTL the student body rallied together or she might STILL be in high school], Steve Sanders [Ew. and that's all I have to say about him], Kelly Taylor....and everyone's favorite Dylan McKay, as played by Luke Perry. Everyone loved Dylan because he was a little rough around the edges, sometimes drove a motorcycle and had a tragic homelife that just made you want to pat him on the head and tell him him that though his dad might be off in prison, his TV fans still loved him.

Well, Dylan fans....Luke Perry is in town filming a new movie called Sam Steele and the Junior Dective. Yesterday morning Sara, Karen and myself set off on a quest to find Luke Perry in the vast suburb of West Des Moines. We got our first lead that he was filming at one of the fire stations in WDSM, so we set off toward the only fire station we were aware off.

As luck would have it, there were serveral firemen out washing up the equipment. Karen flagged one young man down, who was kind enough to report that Luke Perry had already been and gone. He gave us a lead to our next location, which brought us to the big gated house by Valley Church. Alas, Luke Perry evaded us again.

We are girls with gumption, so we put on our Luke Perry thinking caps and ended up at West Glen. We combed the farmer's market, Caribou Coffee and Fuel Juice Bar. Apparently Luke doesn't like crowds because he was a no-show once again.

To make up for the disappointment of missing one of Hollywood's hottest C-list celebrities, we ate our weight in Hy-Vee pizza and called it a day. I'm kind of glad we didn't ever find him. I don't know what we would have said to him. Certainly, "Donna Martin Graduates" would not have passed muster.

Outreach.

This summer I am in a video outreach group. We have been working on a new video for the website and also doing some street interviews. Last night I went out to Court Ave with Karen and Tyler, armed with our official video camera [thanks Andrew Roger], a microphone and some headphones. Our question this week was "What are characteristics of spiritual maturity?" We got some pretty great answers. Some people were very honest. Some people just said what I assume they thought we wanted to hear. Some people were way off base. A lot of people though just laughed and walked away. It's heartbreaking that we live in a time where people can tell you which celebrity was spotted carrying the latest "it" handbag or their athletes performance stats, but we can't accurately describe what someone's life looks like when they are living for the Lord. I think this will be a very interesting summer for me. I am excited to see what comes of our work and all of the people we will meet and talk with along the way.

what's the point?

I slowly sat down on the outdated and faded burnt orange tweed chair in my professor's office. I had sat in that chair at least twice a week for two years....and yet I still was uncomfortable. Not with the chair itself, but what I knew was coming. Our conversations were never light. I always knew I was going to leave feeling crushed, defeated by her wisdom...but also a little bit changed and motivated, too. I knew today was no exception and although I had requested the meeting this time, my mind was racing with scenarios to get myself out of there.



Too late. She sat down across from me in her typical state.

Curly blonde hair? Check.

Red reading glasses that always made me picture day-time television talk show host Sally Jesse Raphael? Check.

Tight jeans and black heels? Double check.

For a professor in her 50's, she always looked good....from a distance. Up close, her intensity was anything less than attractive to most people. Her tan, stoney face was always solemn. Her teeth were stained from her 35 year addiction to dark soda. Her personality was anything less than charasmatic. She didn't mess around. You could just tell she was that kind of person. And I respected her for it. I also loved her for being everything I wasn't.

As she sat down, she rested her elbow on her knee and her hand on her chin and just stared at me. I didn't know what to do, what to say.....so I stared back, smiling awkwardly....trying not to squirm in my chair....trying to not let her see how uncomfortable I was....while crickets chirped in the background. My mind shot from thought to thought, resting only long enough on each idea statement to realize that I didn't know what to say at all. How to begin? After what I'm sure was enough time to swim the English Channel had passed she broke the silence.

"So, what's the point Kelli?"

"Um, what?"

"What's the point? What is your purpose? What do you want to do when you're done here next year?"

"Oh, well....I really want to do something with people. Help them...or just, you know...like...love them. Probably homeless people or kids from the city. Maybe I could work for IJM? That video about human trafficking really made me want to work for them."

"Why? What's the point?"

"Well...I just don't like to see people mistreated. Or disrespected. Or hurting. Or sad....you know?"

"So what's the point? Why do that?"

"Because.........because I think that everyone needs to know that they are loved and have value and worth and they don't have to put their hope in material things, or money, or their job, or parents who let them down. I want them to know that someone cares."

"Who? You? I know that you care...but what's the point? What's the point of loving someone solely based on just loving them and making them feel good? Or make yourself feel good? What's the point in that? What will that do to change their life? Don't you think that's a temporary fix to a deeper need? Shouldn't Christ be the point? Shouldn't He be your purpose?"



That meeting ended two hours later, and is still one of the most pivotal conversations in my life. Sometimes I find myself asking "What's the point?" What's the point of the things that I do? Am I doing something for someone to make myself feel good? To make them feel good? Or to show them the love of Christ so that they might know Him? That's the reason we are here, isn't it? So often I think we make it too easy to make our lives and actions about anything else. About ourselves, our accomplishments, successes and victories. Anything that feeds our ego. What's the point in that?

family.

Isn't it so weird to think how much the family you are born into affects the way to think, the way you speak, what you believe, how hard you work, your standards, your expectations, and even your likes and dislikes.

Sometimes I think that other peoples' upbringings are so much more interesting than my own.

My immediate family is incredibly normal. My siblings don't have a funny bone in their body. My parents don't like anything outside of the Midwest. And my grandparents spent most of their lives living, working and dying within a fifteen mile radius of where they were born.

I think that's why I appreciate the abnormal.

I used to think that all families were the same. The dad, the mom and the two-to-four kids all lived happily in a cute house with more than enough food, clothing and love. Everyone is nice to each other all the time and at any moment, a television crew could show up, start filming, and all family interactions were fairy-tale enough to be appropriate for a G rating.

I was reminded this week how far from reality that really is.

As I sat in my grandma's hospital room reading, a man about my age walked in and started talking to the middle aged woman in the bed on the other side of the not-so-private-curtain. The conversation went like this:

"Well mom, I've got some great news. Actually, first I have bad news. I borrowed your car and got you a parking ticket. Haha. Here it is for ya! But don't worry, because it's only ten dollars. And the great news is that while I was out getting you a parking ticket, I also got myself a divorce! I can finally say it--I'm officially divorced. It feels good to say that. Oh yeah, did the doctor tell you that you don't have cancer? He said that chunk from your lung that they removed was actually just a fungus ball. Yeah, mom! It was about this big [makes a large circle with his thumb and pointer finger]. That's disgusting. Well, I can tell by the way you're not responding to me that you're still on a lot of drugs so I'm going to go check on my kids. Can you smell my sweatshirt? It stinks. Junior took down his pants yesterday and wizzed all over the couch and I'm pretty sure someone used my sweatshirt to clean it up. That's why it stinks. Oh, and that bastard keeps calling me. He was piss drunk, called my cell phone and accused me of giving him a fake phone number. I said to him 'I'm talking to you on the phone right now, ain't I? So how could I have given you the wrong number?' I told him you don't need him calling here bothering you. Man, I got a crazy dad, huh? Anyway, I'll be back in a little bit when you can understand me."

With a click of his heels, he was out the door and down the hallway.

I sat there for a moment and thought about what his household looked like growing up. I can only imagine it was nothing less than eventful at all times. It made me think a lot about my family and where I grew up. As easy as it is for me to complain that it's all so boring, I'm thankful that the Lord blessed me with a family and a community the He did.

apologies.

I'm a terrible blogger. I knew this would happen.

I just feel that I'm better in person--the real-live version!

I have a few days off so I am going to try really hard to post something that will blow your minds.

thanks, jill.

I love these things. Also, I don't feel like trying to think of anything else to write about.

Make a list of things you can see without getting up: I don't make lists. Ever.

Favorite football team: Cyclones. Lets be honest though...do I really care?

What are you wearing now? My plaid coat, jeans, turtle neck and slippers. It's cold outside and its colder in here!

What color is your bedroom? Brown, light purple and avacado green. Translation: all the best colors.

What’s the last thing you read/are currently reading? Well, the last thing I read was Jill's blog. Before that I was reading my bible. When I have free time, I have been reading Three Cups of Tea.

Do you nap a lot? Almost never. I hardly sleep.

Who was the last person you hugged? J. Trost after my Smells Fargo Lunch Tour.

What’s your current obsession/addiction? Bill Young messages about the Creation.

What was the last thing you said aloud? I chatted with the lady cashier at Hy-Vee Drugtown.

What Web sites do you always visit when you go online? NPR. I love the news.

What was the last thing you bought? Almond bark and tortilla chips.

What are you listening to right now? Bill Young.

What is something you wish you could do more? Handstands. It's just that I'm never doing enough handstands.

What gives you hope? The Lord....and my bank account [just kidding about the second one :)].

What is your favorite weather, and why? 90 degrees and sunny.

What time do you usually get up? 5:30a-5:45a.

If you could have a house–totally paid for, fully furnished–anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be? The Netherlands. How fun would that be?

Favorite vacation spot? My grandma's kitchen. She makes really good food.

What is your favorite children’s book? I really loved "Danny and the Dinosaur" when I was younger.

Name one thing you just can’t resist no matter how bad it is for you: Ice Cream. It's just so good. And pizza.

If you could meet anyone famous - dead or alive - who would it be? Johnny Cash. And then I'd bring him to church and ask him to share his testimony with everyone. He has a great testimony.

Have you ever met anyone famous? If so who? The band TOOL, Queen Latifa, Jared Leto, Mark McGrath and Cher [ I used to live in LA--Celebrities are all over that place].

Rudolph?

I just figured out how to upload pictures. Also, I never actually tried before so give me a break.

So, in honor of my new found wisdom, I give you Santa's favorite reindeer, a la Jill Trost.

winter weather.

I fully intend to write a strongly worded letter to Mother Nature about the cold we are having. It's just that I wasn't made for cold weather.

25 things.

1. Filing is my secret shame. I believe everything in the world has a home, and it's my responsibility to put it there.

2. I don't wash my hair very often.

3. I used to pretend I was drowning whenever my grandma took me swimming. I wanted to see if she was telling the truth when she said she couldn't swim. I never found out because she never jumped in to save me. Touche, grandma. Touche.

4. I am good at impersonating people; however, I never impersonate them on purpose--only by accident when telling a story about them.

5. I like telling stories.

6. I used to take ballet.

7. I'm really picky about my jeans. I usually buy them, return them a couple of times and ask for several opinions before keeping them.

8. I wanted to be a grandpa when I was younger. I think it was because my grandpa sometimes drove a blue moped.

9. I would drink heavy whipping cream if it was socially acceptable.

10. I don't like awkward silence. I usually just start talking.

11. I don't care about math or driving. Consequentially, I'm terrible at both.

12. I will order anything on a menu with avacado in it.

13. I can watch a movie once and quote half of the lines.

14. My 85 year old neighbor used to drive me around the block on the back of his golf cart when I was 5. One day he stopped being home. My parents finally told me five years later that he died.

15. I think brown is the prettiest color. Ever.

16. I can't sweat and I have really slow circulation.

17. I like to paint with water colors.

18. I am not very good at sleeping on my back, and I've had years of practice.

19. I would rather eat ice cream than anything else. Except avacados.

20. My mom, my sister and I were all both on the 6th day of the month.

21. I played with Trolls until I was in 5th grade.

22. I've been to a lot of really great shows. Bob Dylan is the only person left I really want to see play live.

23. I quit the Gift and Talented program at school when I was 14 because I didn't want anyone to know that I was smart. I rejoined again when I was 17 again....because I didn't want to have to sit in the hallway during our lunch hour.

24. When I was in second grade I made a Steggasaurus out of paper plates, puff balls, toothpicks and glue. I won a blue ribbon from my teacher.

25. I have really low expectations for everything. That's why I'm always so excited.

walrus.

I just found this website. Check it out.

http://www.americanmustacheinstitute.org/MustacheStyles.aspx

I think my favorite part is: "But it is important to note that the greatness of a mustache is that a new style can be created each day by any mustached man... and sometimes a woman."

top 5's.

I stole this from Trostest with the Mostest and Swilson. :)

Here's a list of my Top 5's from 2008

Top 5 Concerts:
1. Ray LaMontange in KC
2. Ryan Adams and the Cardinals
3. Amos Lee at Peoples
4. Matt Wertz--always
5. Jonny Lang at RIBFEST AMERICA

Top 5 Events:
1. DTC Dodgeball
2. Ribfest America
3. DTC retreat
4. My niece turned ONE!
5. Faithwalkers

Top 5 Totally random events that turned in to way too much fun:
1. Steele Crosswhite at Drake
2. Pumpkinpalooza
3. Monday night prayer walk
4. Johnny Five's Birthday and outside volleyball
5. Summer Olympics viewing party

Top 5 new gadgets/favorite things I discovered this year
1. Des Moines. I just really love it.
2. The DTC--changed my life.
3. My beach cruiser
4. LA BARISTA. Best coffee in Des Moines.
5. China Place lunch special.

Top 5 Movies
1. The Dark Night
2. Kung Foo Panda
3. It's a Wonderful Life--I've never seen it before!
4. Chronicles of Narnia
5. Expelled

Top 5 Favorite Quotes of the year:
1. Anything out of Andrew Meyer's mouth.
2. "Top of the morning to ya, Miss Kelli!"--Cobi Vetrus
3. "Just...everybody grab a crapton."-Darrin Miedema "How much IS a crapton?"-Kim Sadewasser
4. "Are you ready to party like a ROCK STA-aaaar. OH NO!"--Cara Seifert
5. "If I ever have a son, I'm going to name him Oscar."--Justin Meyer

Top 5 Books I've read this year:
1. Wednesdays with Barry
2. Crazy/Love
3. The Glass Castle
4. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
5. Three Cups of Tea

Top 5 CDs I was obsessed with this year:
1. Ray LaMontange-Gossip in the Grain
2. Matt Wertz-Under the Summer Sun
3. Matt Nathanson
4. NeadtoBreath
5. Ryan Adams-Heartbreaker

hide-and-seek.

I used to love hiding. I don't know if was the thrill of accidentally being found by an unsuspecting "seeker", or the comfort of knowing that if I tried hard enough....I could tuck myself away from the rest of the world for as long as I liked and then BAM! I'd make my grand re-appearance upon my leisure.

One summer evening, when I was about five or six, I went came inside from my backyard and discovered that my dad wasn't at home and my mom was in the shower. I patted myself on the back for being responsible and returning home at dusk without any verbal prompts from my parents.....and then came up with a brilliant plan.

I went to my parents' bedroom, flattened myself out on the floor as best as I could and quickly rolled myself under their queen size bed. My plan of action: wait in the secret shadows of the bed's underbelly until my mom returned to her room to get dressed. The second she walked anywhere near the edge of the bed, I would grab her ankles as a "surprise", which would make her scream and squeal and probably pee all over herself. Upon her recovery of total shock and terror, she would laugh, compliment me for being sneaky and clever and then give me some sort of treat.

The best laid plans, right?

I ended up falling asleep before my mom even got out of the shower.

She got dressed and went outside to call me in. After searching around the house....block....neighborhood...and talking with neighbors who said that I had gone home "hours ago", she alerted the police and relatives who lived in towns nearby. A search-party was quickly formed and the town was blanketed with people who wanted to find me.

My small hometown turned itself upside down looking for their most prized citizen. The city police blamed themselves for not protecting its townspeople better. Women, children and babies were crying at the thought of such a great loss. Grown men were sobbing too. My older sister, who never had any interest in me until I suddenly disappear, grieved the loss of her only sibling by throwing a fit and asking to sleep in my parents' bedroom that night while the manhunt outside continued.

As my grandma put my sister into the bed she noticed a shoelace trailing out from under the mattress. She reached her hand under the bed, wrapped her old wrinkled fingers around something warm and fleshy and pulled out her favorite grandchild, who up until that point had been peacefully sleeping. My grandma picked me up, wrapped me in her arms and tearfully told me "I love you."

The funny thing is, no one was mad. They had every reason to be. But everyone was just happy that I had returned. Safe. Sound. All parts of me still stuck together.

In Matthew 18:12-13 it says "If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray." God loves us and rejoices over us when we return to him too. He isn't mad that we wasted his time. He isn't mad that we wandered away or intentionally left him. He has every reason to be.

We can't really hide from God. Sometimes I try, but he is always there to pull me out from under the bed, tell me he loves me and welcome me home.

undecided.

People have been telling me for quite some time to get a blog.

So here it is.

I sort of think blogs are a little weird. It's like letting the whole world into your mind, whether you post your deepest secrets or just some off-the-cuff thoughts of the day. To me, that's frightening...because I have very long days and a lot of thoughts.

BTW; I'm sure you're all wondering and the answer is yes. I totally intend to post my deepest, darkest secrets on here.